The Art Of Lying

A Research Paper Presented to

The English Resource Center

School of Multimedia Arts

Asia Pacific College,

Magallanes, Makati City 

In Partial Fulfillment

of the Requirements for the Course

English Research and Writing

Jerylle Anne G. Realino

April 2015

________________________________

Chapter 1

INTRODUCTION

A. Background of the Study

People lie every single day. All we know is that lying ruins relationships. Truth and deception is like good and evil. It has been viewed as diametrically opposed and irreconcilable. Yet, few people say they never lie. In fact, deception is practiced habitually in day-to-day life. Example is when we compliment a person even though we don't really mean what we say. A person lies most of his or her time in ordinary everyday life.  Lying has become an everyday phenomenon to us because we lie whether we we are aware that we're doing it or whether we don't. 

A kind of lie that is called "white lies" can help in so many ways most especially in relationships. Lying to friends and family members may seem like a quick way to lose their trust, but new research suggests this may not always be the case. In an the article "Truth Be Told, White Lies Can Keep Relationships Strong" written by Elizabeth Palermo, she said that some people may call this lie as "pro-social lying" but it's more commonly known as white lies.

In that article, Palermo included that according to an evolutionary psychologist at Oxford University in the United Kingdom,  Robin Dunbar, "In this type of deception, known as antisocial lying, is destructive and weakens the bonds between two people. On the other hand, lies told to help another person or to protect someone's feelings tend to be good for relationships. (http://www.livescience.com/46992-how-lying-affects-social-networks.html)

We lie to get along with people. Those lies we tell others often are about how we are feeling, how we discern another, or what we've been doing. We may lie consciously or unconsciously. Usually our little lies are a result of feeling of empathy for another person. Anyone who is mature enough understands that telling a partner or a friend the awful truth can be hurtful. To avoid hurting them, we lie. Lies of this kind are things usually of low cost to us but may be of critical importance to our friends or our partner. Some lies are also told in silence too. Now, this is the "unspoken truth."

Lies in silence? Or should I say lies of omission. It occurs when an important truth or fact has not been said. From an article by Ashley Fern, she said that some lies of omissions are harmless, while other are necessary. Omission becomes a lie when you intentionally hide something from someone.  Even if you know what you are omitting and is in fact relevant and you have a specific reason why you do it, well that is most definitely a lie. Any attempt at deception is the same as a lie. The end result is exactly the same in this scenario.

Fern said that, "A lie is not in the words or the lack of words, it’s in the intention of the deceiver; the intent is to elicit a specific response from the asker. Is an omission only a lie when there is an expectation of a truthful answer to a question, where the answer was deliberately used to obfuscate the truth? A deliberate omission can be considered a lie if the lack of information alters outcomes, be it discernment or decision. You do not owe everyone your innermost life story, but if you are withholding relevant information in order to sway a person’s judgment in some way, then it appears you are in fact lying to him or her." (http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/when-does-the-omission-of-truth-become-a-lie/)

Omission becomes a lie when you're intentionally hiding something from someone. I mean, it would be difficult and time consuming to tell everything to everyone. But if you know its relevant, and you have a specific motive then that's still lying. Most people think that lying is just something you shouldn't do because it's a wrong doing. 

However, lying may actually be necessary in civil society. It has its place in our society. There are certain situations in which it can actually be better to lie than to tell the truth. Lying is more convenient than dealing with the truth in situations that just need a quick exit. Sometimes you don’t have to lie to protect your own feelings, but the feelings of others. Again, lying is never the best option, but in some situations brutal honesty is unnecessary and doesn’t really solve anything.

There is a need to conduct this study for people to see the positive side of lying and not only the negative side of it because most people think that lying is something you shouldn't do. 

The purpose of this paper is to show why lying could be necessary for society. 

B. Statement of the Problem 

This study aims to answer the question:

1. Why people lie?

2. What are the benefits of lying? 

C. Significance of the Study

1. Friends  - this research aims to benefit some friendships that had been broken because of lies. Sometimes, a friend lies for other reasons. One of these reasons might be to protect your feelings but other reasons may be because they're just being fake to you

2. Couples - this research paper would benefit couples for them to find out whether their partner has been lying or cheating on them

3. Family - this research would benefit families for them to know when to tell a lie and when not to tell a lie

D. Scope and Delimitation

This study was made to see the positive and negative side of lying and not only the negative side of it because most people think that lying is something you shouldn't do. Therefore, this study would be most important to a lot of people.

Due to time constraints, this study will no longer discuss other forms of lying.

E. Materials and Methods

Informations relevant to the study were gathered from various online references that focuses on the positive and negative sides of lying. Also, the researcher used these sources to gather facts about why lying could be a benefit to people you lie to. 

F. Definitions of Terms 

Deception - the act of making someone believe something that is not true

Deceive - to mislead by deliberate misrepresentation or lies

Deceiver -  a person who leads you to believe something that is not true

Omission - the action of excluding or leaving out someone or something

CHAPTER 2

DISCUSSION

What are the factors that could influence people to lie?

I. Definition and Types of Deception

Deception is defined as an untrue falsehood, or is the act of lying to or tricking someone. It is also an automatic response designed to protect the self from harm. It includes several types of communications or omissions that serve to omit the complete truth. Deception itself is intentionally managing verbal and/or nonverbal messages so that the message receiver will believe in a way that the message sender knows is false. Most of the time, deception occurs with little awareness or thought. 

Children start lying at age 3 and people continue to lie throughout their lives. We repeat the same lies so often that we actually believe in what we are already saying. We are more honest at the same time more deceptive with the people who are close to us or should I say to the people we love the most. 

In the article titled, "We're All Lying Liars: Why People Tell Lies, and Why White Lies Can Be OK", the author, Ulrich Boser says that what most people tell are white lies. He also said that we shouldn't feel bad about it because we're in a good, dishonest company. Telling these kinds of lies are necessary in everyday life.

"Anything that is not accurate is a lie. You can argue that a lie done to make someone else feel better is relatively minor. But they have an effect. The bottom line is that a lie is a lie," says Feldman. (http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2009/05/18/were-all-lying-liars-why-people-tell-lies-and-why-white-lies-can-be-ok)

White lies aren't the only lies that people tell everyday. Two other lies are the lies of omission and the other one is false advertising (yes, it is a kind of deception too). Lies of omission happens when an important fact is left out in order to stimulate a misconception. These are those lies that are told in silence. Now, false advertising occurs in companies and most especially in TV ads. It is a kind of advertising or promotion that misrepresents true characteristics of what is being promoted. 

II. Factors influencing people to lie

Researchers have been studying deception for decades, trying to figure out why we tell lies. Now, what motivates people to lie? It turns out that we make up stories or tell lies for all sorts of reasons. For example, we might want to gain a raise or a reward, or maybe to protect friends or a lover. 

A. Personal Protection

Bodily harm is not the only time we need protection. Of course, we also need to protect ourselves, our feelings, emotions, personal life and privacy. For example, you just broke up with a lover and you're still on the process of moving on then someone asks how things are going between you and your ex lover, you couldn't answer anything because you're still hurting. So instead of answering, you just remain quiet. 

In the article "3 Situations When It's Okay to Lie and Not Feel Guilty", by Mackenzie Wright, she said that in smaller situations, when there is no harm, a lie is not terrible. Anyway, I do not believe in fixed rules, I believe in guidelines that are there to serve as warning points and reminders. But I leave it up to human judgement to make the best call as circumstances arise.

"It’s okay to sidestep prying questions with a virtual stranger by saying, “No, I’m fine. Really, I’m just tired,” even if inside you feel like your life is a shambles. It’s okay not to tell your work acquaintances what your religion is if you’re afraid it will get back to your bigoted boss through random office gossip", says Mackenzie Wright (http://www.psychicsuniverse.com/articles/home-family/family/3-situations-when-its-okay-lie-and-not)

There are times when we don't want to talk about or reveal things things to other people. It’s always best to simply avoid the topic but sometimes you can get stuck in a situation in which a person puts you in an uncomfortable spot. If avoidance doesn’t work, a simple lie might be the best way out of the situation. And yes, it's true that anytime lying prevents harm. If for example a terrorist asks me if I'm American, I'm just gonna start blabbering in Spanish and walk away. 

B. Protecting The Feelings Of Others

We lie not only to protect our own feelings but to protect the feelings of others too. For example,  your friend asks you if you like her new boyfriend, there’s no harm in saying yes. You don’t have to be so honest as to your three year old, “Sweetie, I know you miss your daddy and wish he were at your birthday, but he wanted to spend the weekend in Vegas with his new girlfriend instead.” Another example is when a kid's mother was brutally murdered and tortured, seriously, you could just lie to the kid and say she was hit by a car. The young brain has yet to develop the ability to digest horrors that in some cases, it's just better to gloss things over. You can tell the kid later, when he/she grows up.

In an article by Kathleen Kelleher, titled "The Truth About Lying: Why We Do It and When It Might Be OK", it was stated that people tell these serious lies to protect something when the truth could threaten something they really value. Now, these lies are told out of loyalty. The purpose of lies that are told out of loyalty are to protect or secure a relationship. Also, it creates a special bond between two people when someone tells a lie to protect another. 

"The motivation to tell these lies is to spare a person's feelings," says De Paulo. "Other reasons are to make the relationship better", says Depaulo. (http://articles.latimes.com/1998/mar/10/news/ls-27272)

We value a someone so much that we cover up a lie for them just because we love and care for them. Everyone is capable of living a lie. Most lying out of lying falls under the broad category of "altruistic lies". And what De Paulo said was true. The only motivation why we cover up a lie of someone who's very special to us is to spare that person's feelings. Another reason is because we just want to make our relationship with that person better.

C. To Create A Sense Of Identity

These are lies to have people see you in a certain way. We lie to others because we want to fit in. For example, you have rich ass friends who own a lot of expensive/branded bags. Then later on, you brag about your new Louis Vuitton bag which you will tell others that you bought it for one hundred thousand pesos but the truth is you bought it for only one hundred pesos. See what I mean? Another example is when you tell your parents that you do great in school that you always get a grade of A+. But truth is you always get a failing grade. You lie to them just because you want them to be proud of you and that you want them to praise you. 

In the article written by Jesse Chambers, titled "Reasons Why We All Tell Lies", he said that people with low self-esteem often experience a sense of failure and inferiority because their abilities  and accomplishments fall short of their personal expectations for themselves.

"If they perceive you in certain way, then they will treat you in a certain way, and you feel more comfortable in that particular role or identity. This can be pathological and manipulative, but it can also be relatively healthy. Professional people need to behave in a certain way so that people seeking their services will feel that they will be cared for", Ford said. (http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2014/07/13_reasons_why_we_tell_lies_fr.html)

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person. Those with high self-esteem believe that they are adequate, strong and worthy of a good life, while those with low self-esteem feel inadequate and worthless. Low self-esteem can develop in childhood and continue throughout adulthood, causing great emotional pain. Therefore, it’s important to develop a healthy, positive sense of self. So be friends with those people who accept you for who you really are so you won't have to lie about yourself and so that they won't have to judge you.

III. Conclusion

Based on the research gathered, lying is not wrong all time because that's what most people think. The purpose of lying is not for bad intentions only. Deception happens because of our good intentions also. Nobody should aspire to living a lie, but a life without some self-deception would be hard to navigate. We fool ourselves into doing a lot of difficult and painful and expensive but good and worthy things. Lying  can be achieved in two ways and these are directly and indirectly. Directly, by saying things which are not true. Indirectly, by leaving out important informations. 

I therefore conclude that lying is what keeps the world at its peace, hides others from their enemies and problems. Protects someone who doesn't understand the situation. Well, what do you know, what could you know about the amount of self-preserving cunning, or reason and higher protection that is contained in such self-deception—and how much falseness I still require so that I may keep permitting myself the luxury of my truthfulness? 

CHAPTER 3

SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMENDATION

SUMMARY

This paper attempted to determine the factors that could influence people to lie. This study will also conclude some types of deception. The research design that was used in this study is the descriptive research method wherein all data from documents and articles found online and was used to answer the questions that posted.The research finding were the following:

1. Inevitably, deception is necessary. 

2. Deception involves acting in such a way which leads another person to believe something, that you, yourself, do not believe to be true.

3. We lie to protect our feelings and other people's feelings.

4. The factors that influence people to lie are for personal protection, other people's protections and to create a sense of identity. 

5. Lying has become a habit for us because it has become an everyday phenomenon.

CONCLUSIONS

Based on the findings of the study, the following conclusions are drawn:

1. Lying is really not a great habit to get into. Let’s face it, it causes problems. It damages our self-esteem and integrity. It hurts other people. It breaks down bonds and disintegrates trust. What everybody knows is that lying ruins relationships. But that not may always be the case.

2. People say they never lie. In fact, deception is practiced habitually in day-to-day life. They lie whether they're conscious about it or not. Unlike most people, I just admit to this fact and accept this reality.

3. There are certain situations wherein it's better to tell a lie rather than to tell the ugly truth.

4. Lying is necessary to the good function of the society. You don't want to hear the truth all the time. The truth sucks. You want to be lied to, and you don't want the painful burden of telling the truth all the time. 

RECOMMENDATIONS

After drawing the conclusions of the study, the researchers hereby make the following suggestions/recommendations:

1. People should know when and when not to lie.

2. Lying is okay as long as you're doing it for good intentions because we can't be brutally honest all the time. 

References

A. Electronic Media

Palermo, E. (2014, July 24) Truth Be Told, White Lies Can Keep Relationships Strong from http://www.livescience.com/46992-how-lying-affects-social-networks.html

Fern, A. (2013, Aug. 26) When Does The Omission Of Truth Become A Lie? from http://elitedaily.com/dating/sex/when-does-the-omission-of-truth-become-a-lie/

Boser, U. (2009, May 18) We're All Lying Liars: Why People Tell Lies, and Why White Lies Can Be from http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-behavior/articles/2009/05/18/were-all-lying-liars-why-people-tell-lies-and-why-white-lies-can-be-ok

Kelleher, K. (1998, March 10) The Truth About Lying: Why We Do It and When It Might Be OK from http://articles.latimes.com/1998/mar/10/news/ls-27272

Chambers, J. (2014. July 10) Reasons Why We All Tell Lies from http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2014/07/13_reasons_why_we_tell_lies_fr.html

Blogpost 8: Being True Is Better Than Being A Liar Just To Impress Everyone

You'll know when a guy is trying to impress you. Easy! First is his wallet weight. If you're on date or maybe on a "hohol" with him, he'll offer to pay for everything. Even if he has low budget, he'll act like money isn't a problem for him. Second, when he acts like he's intelligent. He acts like he knows everything including current affairs, etc. Third, when he brags about his talents. It's embarrassing in his part if he tells you that he has no hobbies or talents. So what he'll do is he'll act like he knows how to play the guitar or maybe he'll brag about him being a part of the varsity team. Who would want to enter a relationship based on lies, right? You shouldn't really lie just to impress someone. Being yourself already impresses them. 

I read an article about guys who lie just to impress their dates. "Lying to impress your date: Everybody's doing it" by John Campanelli, The Plain Dealer. According to a 2007 survey by Harlequin, men and women said that it's OKAY to lie sometimes in dating. I don't get it quite though but I've read that they have motives or reasons why they do. One thing is because they want to look good. As we all know, dating is a competition. He said that to get an advantage of their rivals, they boost themselves in the eyes of women. Just like a peacock showing off its colorful feathers, they show off the characteristics they think their dates will admire. Another is because they are good and scared. What does he mean by that? You only lie because you're scared. Scared that maybe if someone gets to know the real you, she won't find you worthy. So all you do is just to pretend to be someone you're not. 

"I think the lies are based in fear," says Harlequin. "We think that if someone knows the real us they won't find us worthy, so we sort of feel like we have to frost ourselves a little bit to make ourselves more appealing."

I do not agree with what what she said. If you're going to ask me, I think it's much better if you get to know the person well. And It's also much better to be your natural self when you're trying to win a girl's heart. You shouldn't lie about yourself because once she finds out, you will have lesser chances with her. 

And once you get in a relationship with that guy who tried to "impress" you, here are 7 lies men tell women. "7 Lies Men Tell Women" by Dr. Joyce Brothers. As stated in a study by a psychologist named Bella DePaulo, there are differences in how men and women lie. The difference is that when a woman lie, she only does just to make other feel better. And when men lie, they build themselves up to conceal something. Now going to the 7 lies men tell women, first is, men have a hard time admitting failure. They don't want other people to step on their pride/ego. Second is they tell us that they like our friends even when they don't. Third is when men tell their partner that she's the best even when she's not. Fourth is (this lie hurts so much just because you're falling out of love with your partner), when he tells you that he can't call you. Fifth, "That dress isn't too tight, that's great!" Men only say the things that their partner wants to hear. Sixth, Many men still feel paternalistic about the women they love, so they lie to spare them worry. But these lies can destroy the very sense of confidence that the man hoped to create. And they can make a woman feel she is not a respected partner in the relationship. Seventh, when a man wants to avoid a scene with his partner, he says lies like "I'll take the kids to the park — when the weather gets nicer," he says as he goes out the door with golf clubs.

"And most people agree that some lying is even necessary — to avoid petty squabbles and to grease the wheels of a relationship," says Dr. Joyce.

Hmmm.. Yeah, maybe sometimes you have to lie too. But I guess you have to tell the truth most of the time. Just like what I've read in the article earlier, constant lying can unglue a relationship.

Blogpost 7: The Cruelest Lies Are Often Told In Silence

Lying is done with words.. BUT ALSO WITH SILENCE. All of you might think that lies happen only when a person speaks. Not! Hidden truths are unspoken lies, you know. These lies are called lies of omission. I was researching articles about deception and then I found this article that I found very interesting. At first, I didn't know that when an important fact is left out, it means you're already lying. Seriously. When people ask me about something and I don't want to tell the truth, I sometimes change the topic or I simply don't answer. That means I'm already lying. WHAT. What are lies of omission? (Because all of you might be asking me..) It means to leave out portions of the truth in order to deliberately mislead someone into drawing a false conclusion. Now, how about lies of omission in relationships? How do those lies ruin a relationship?

In this article by Tara Finch, "In Dating, Lies Of Omission Can Almost Ruin Everything", she will be telling us how lies of omission ruin a relationship. Lies of omission is somewhat damaging just like telling a lie. It has a negative effect when someone makes a decision to tell you the truth or not. If you date a guy you just met online, chances are, your relationship wouldn't last long. It will most likely be just a short-term relationship. Guys behind computers are great omitters. Because when you meet a guy online, he will sing songs to you over the phone and tell you things that would knock you off your feet. You know that there are red flags, but you just ignore them because you're that crazy over this guy. According to the author online dating is a very demoralizing exercise in frustration because you don't even know the whole background of this person. You don't know a lot about him yet. Well, to cut the story short, people won't tell everything to you. It's like you have to find out for yourself. 

"I feel lucky that this situation didn't end up any worse. The thing is, while it is extremely easy to be deceitful on the Internet, this situation could have just as easily happened if I had met this guy at my corner grocery store or a local bar. The Internet does not corner the market on crazy," says Tara.

Personally, I hate online dating. Main reason is because there really big chances that the person you are dating is just going to pretend and just lie to you all the time. Who's going to be the victim here? It's going to be us. And another thing, it's really better to get to know this person by dating him personally, not through the internet.

This is another article similar to the article I've read earlier, titled, "The Destructive Power of Lies" by Gail Watts. People believe that lies of omission aren't really lies. Because a lie of omission is defined as "A method of deception and duplicity that uses the technique of simply remaining silent when speaking the truth which would significantly alter the other person’s capacity to make an informed decision." Lying to someone very close to your heart is just so unfair. Protecting someone's feelings doesn't mean that your lying. But in a relationship, it's always better to tell your partner the truth and nothing but the truth. It's always better to be honest than to be untrustworthy. When your partner loses trust in you, it's not just temporary. It takes forever to bring back that trust. Or maybe not at all..

"Lies not only destroy love between of a couple, but also the person who was deceived," says Gail.

It does. It also destroys the person you lied to because it will make her not want to trust someone ever again. Like what people say, "Never trust someone who lies to you and never lie to someone who trusts you." In these two articles that I've read, I learned that lying is not only done with words but also with silence. Will people just stop hiding the truth? 

Blogpost 6: Hurt Me With The Truth

Knowing you're being lied to is worse than being hurt by the truth. Some truths make you go mad but being lied to destroys your trust. Just like in James Morrison's song, Broken Strings, "The truth hurts. And lies worse."  When people lie to me, it makes me feel like I'm unworthy of the truth. I had a lot of experiences already. A lot of people broke my trust already and honestly, it's very hard to bring back that trust. That's why I have trust issues. So, how do you deal with being lied to? 

This is an article about how deception crushes our trust, titled, "Why Lying Hurts So Much" by Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. She said that everyone is a victim of lie. Our faith is broken into pieces and the next thing we know is it's already hard for us to trust. Everything gets worse when we should've just told the truth. By telling lie after lie, we create distances from our real selves because we build false version of reality. If we repeat the same lie over and over again, we may even come to believe that it's already true. Question here is, how do you keep your faith when someone (whether he/she may be a lover, a close friend, an acquaintance) has lied to you? There are many ways on how you can maintain your faith. 3 of the ways are: Look for people who make you feel good. Seek people who you you don't only admire but who you also like. Give your trust to those people who will defend you. 

"By telling lie after lie, we eventually can suffer from building a false version of reality that increasingly distances us from our real selves. After repeatedly lying about the same thing, we may even come to believe it is true," says Bella DePaulo.

A lie can't be covered by another lie. No, it just can't. As it gets piled up, things just become more and more complicated. End the freaking lie, just tell me the truth. Always remember that when you tell a lie once, all the truths you'll be saying next will become questionable.

Now here's another article about why it is important to tell the truth. The author if this next article is Troy Rampy. The title is "How Important Is It To Tell The Truth."  We just can't change other people and make them tell the truth. In growing up, our parents always tell us to always tell the truth. But as we grow older, we get influenced to lie by our peers, media and other more things. We think that lying makes everything so easy. Maybe yes, maybe no. It's true that things get a little easier, but remember that there is always a price we pay. Once we start lying, it makes us unworthy of other people's trust. With mistrust comes a certain tension. STRESS. Yup, stress. You may ask what telling the truth has something to do with decreasing stress. Telling the truth promotes our well-being. Once we begin telling the truth, it will make us feel good. That's basically it.

"And with mistrust comes a certain tension. You know, stress. And it begins to calcify: in our thoughts; in our emotions; in our behaviors; in our beliefs; in our body," says Troy.

Right. So why stress over the lie you just said when you can just tell the truth? Remember, when in doubt, tell the truth. 

Blogpost 5: Be Honest With Me

Is it really hard to be honest? The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie. Honestly, I like friends who don't sugarcoat anything. I want them telling me the truth about everything even if it would kill me inside. I lie... But I only do small little lies. I get very guilty. Always remember that one lie is all it takes to lose their trust in you. Always be real and tell the truth no matter what. 

How does telling the truth save your life? I read this article, titled "Why telling the truth could save your life: Most of us would rather lie to avoid awkwardness (even in high-risk situations)" by Daily Mail Reporter. It made me realize that being too polite can cause great damage too. It could result to a lot of things like a pilot crashing because a colleague did not point out a mistake and the like. Politeness has serious consequences within the corporate culture too. Like when people don't want to embarrass their bosses or their co-workers, so they don't point out when something seems inappropriate. 

"This harder thinking leaves us in a greater state of uncertainty about what is really meant, becoming dangerous in high-stakes situations," says one of the authors, Jean-Francois Bonnefon of the University of Toulouse. 

Typically, deceptive behavior is driven by fear. And fear is one of our most basic emotions, right? Fear works to protect us from harm. It influences our responses, especially to our deceptive behavoir. In fact, we become too kind/polite to protect another's feelings. In short, fear is always in the background.

Here is another article about why you should stop lying and start telling the truth by Laura Rowley, titled, "Lying: Why You Don't Tell The Truth And Why You Should Start." She said that, in order to be successful in anything, one must have a reputation of honesty. It also gives you a peace of mind. It's impossible to be happy and worried at the same time. Another reason why you should start telling the truth is because it will give you a good sleep. Who doesn't want to have good sleep?! (Unless you have no conscience at all..) If you lie, you'll often lose sleep because of the fear that maybe someone will find out sooner or later. The greatest thing that was ever stated in this article is that lying doesn't work. All too often, our deceptions are discovered.

“We have a notion we know what’s right and wrong but the truth is that it’s friends and people around us who tell us what’s right and wrong by example, and we are incredibly susceptible to those things,” says Ariely. 

Actually, we know what's right and what's wrong. Keep your conscience clean. Always do what's right.

Blogpost 4: Truths and Lies About What We Buy

Expectation vs. Reality. Not everything we see on television is true. Those ads about teeth whitening? Those big-ass burgers? Those delicious food we see? Nope, not all of them are really what it looks like in reality. We get so gullible that we want to try them out. We get disappointed once we see, try, touch and feel them because we expected so much more than that. Amidst the alluring slogans and images, it's hard to tell whether the product is worth the try or not.

In Sienna Kossman's article, "The Truth About False and Deceptive Advertising," we will find out how false advertising attracts us to buy their products. There are tricks on how they make their products attracting and appealing to buyers. Few of the tricks are by using hairsprays to make fruits and veggies look fresh, putting antacids in sodas to create fizzle, replacing the actual ice cream with mashed potato and many more. They use this thing called "photoshop" that makes everything look better. Just like in hotels and resorts, they may show you an infinity pool. But in reality, it's just as big as an oversized jacuzzi. If you think these deceptive advertisements are harmless, well, think again. They actually have serious consequences. 

"There are ads that are getting the most attention and are most successful are the ones that call consumers to quick action," says Brent Brien, the American Consumer Protection Group's senior vice president of enforcement. 

I agree. We all know the saying that looks can be deceiving, right? It applies to those false advertisements. We get so allured and gullible that we keep on buying those kinds of products just because they look awesome. The only reason why we get so gullible is because of our subconscious mind. Our senses are dialed down that it is affected by the messages because we let everything come on board. 

Similarly, I read an article titled, "Lies, Lies and Advertising" by Paul Suggett. He said that deceptive/false advertising exaggerates the benefit.  The reason why advertisers lie is simply because if they don't, it will be the death of their business. But the truth will set you free. They outright lie and aim to mislead in the tricky different ways possible. But do advertisers break any law? Nope, they're just messing with language. But if they keep lying about their products, it could lead to a very bad karma. Anything false will be discovered sooner or later. And it will lead to dismayed customers. 

"Now, there is no smoke without fire, and there are clearly many rotten apples that have ruined both professions, in the eyes of the general public anyway. Lawyers are slimy liars who will do anything to win a case. Advertisers are slick liars who will say anything to get a sale." says Paul. 

Yes, advertising does bend the truth. It gets so exaggerated that no one believes it anymore. The truth will set you free..

Blogpost 3: Liar Liar! Pants On Fire

Uh-oh! If I think someone is lying to me, I try to observe him/her by how he/she speaks. I ask him/her questions I already know. I know he/she is lying when he/she talks too fast and stutter, turns red and doesn't look straight into my eyes. But I swear, sometimes it's hard to tell whether he/she is lying or not. It still depends on the person you're talking to though. Because some are already a pros in lying. 

So how can you tell if someone is lying to you? Here are legit ways to know if a person is lying. I read this article titled, "How To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You" by Amanda L. Chan. At first I thought that when a person lies, you see it in the change of his/her behavior. WRONG. You will only obtain about an accuracy rate of 54 percent. Experts say that it's possible to tell if a person is lying based on his/her behavior but scientific researchers said that nonverbal behavior isn't a good source at all. All those ideas I've said in the first paragraph of my blog are false. In a study in the journal Psychological Science, it shows that we are more able to detect lies when we're unconsciously doing so. There are clues and strategies on how you can detect lies. It is called the "unanticipated question approach." You use this method when you think someone is trying to cover up or hiding something from you. It is a method wherein the liar will take time to plan their stories. 

"The classic idea that people, in general, believe -- and that ... many of these so-called experts propagate -- is that liars give themselves away by gaze aversion, not looking you in the eyes; that they fidget, they change their posture, they pick on their clothes," Hartwig says. 

That's what I thought at first. But after reading the article, I learned that not because they act like that means they're already lying. But for some people, every time their behavior changes, they really are lying. Complicated, I know. It depends on the person, really. 

Another similar topic is about how to determine if a person is lying to through text or online. In this article by Elizabeth Bernstein, titled, "How To Tell If Someone Is Lying To You In An Email." Now, how do you tell if a person is lying to you online? Text? Or maybe an email? We are left with fewer clues because it doesn't involve body language, gestures, facial expressions and tone of the voice. Question is, how do we detect if a person is lying?  To begin with, pay attention to what the person is saying. When a person repeats the same thing over and over again in different ways, now that's when they're lying. Another technique you should watch out for is when you asked a question and he/she didn't answer. Pay attention to vague answers. That's it. 

Noncommittal statements are red flags—"pretty sure," "probably," "must have" and, my least favorite, "maybe." "These words leave the person an out," Ms. Cohen Wood says.

YUP, EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE NONCOMMITTAL STATEMENT - "MAYBE." We love saying "maybe" only because we don't want to reject or hurt other people's feelings. One good example everybody is guilty of is when a person asks us out and we don't really like to hang out with that person that much, instead of saying "no", we say "maybe."

Blogpost 2: Truth Be Told

Like what I've said in my previous blog, we lie everyday because it has become an "everyday phenomenon" already. But anyway, do white lies help in a relationship? If you ask me, I think it does.. (Sometimes!) Truth be told, we lie to our friends, partners and parents just because we want to maintain a good relationship with them. We think that it's the only way to protect their feelings. 

In this article by Elizabeth Palermo, titled, "Truth Be Told, White Lies Can Keep Relationships Strong", I found out that white lies are really helpful in maintaining good relationships with others. We think that lying to our friends and family may seem like a quick way to destroy their trust. Wrong! Not all the time. But if we lie for the reason, it makes our relationship with them stronger. Oh and fyi, people tell white lies online too! How? By simply liking a friend's facebook status! 

"I think that in many cases you can consider the like a white lie [if it's done] for reasons that having nothing to do with support," Rosen said.

And I absolutely agree with what she said. Liking a facebook status that you don't actually like is already a form of dishonesty. Like for example, your friend asks you "Is my outfit today nice?" Instead of saying something that isn't very nice, you just like the status instead. We are afraid that we might comment something rude that will hurt his/her feelings.

Another article that is contradicting to the article I've read earlier says that The author of this article is Michael Schwable, titled, "Why White Lies Are More Dangerous Than You Think." For most people, the temptation to twist the truth is easy. The dangerous thing in white lies is that when we get caught, the person's trust whom we lied to will lessen. It will make it hard for him/her to trust us again. Most importantly, while trust and credibility are easy to lose, they are difficult to earn back.

Researchers found out that white lies do have consequences and that the danger of telling them is they lead us toward being more dishonest. According to Feldman, "If you find out your boss has lied to you, it makes you feel OK to tell lies to your boss.

I'm somewhere between agree and disagree. It actually depends on your conscience if you're going to lie to your boss too though. 

Blogpost 1: The Ugly Truth

Lying becomes a habit when we keep doing it. There are actually a lot of reasons why people lie. But let me tell you about two of the reasons why. First reason is because we lack the ability to handle unexpected events. I, myself is guilty of that. I lie when I'm in a terrible situation and I just want to get away from it instead of facing it. And I know that some of you do the same too. Second reason is because we want to please everyone in order to maintain our goodness in social situations. Like most of the questions we always ask, "Am I pretty?" "Do I look good today?" "Am I fat?"

According to this article that I've read that was written by Allison Kornet, "The Truth About Lying",  lying has been a part of our everyday life. Because in reality, our society encourages us to lie. It is an everyday phenomenon. In other words, it has been a habit for us already. We just can't end the day without lying.  In a 1996 study by DePaulo, she stated that people lie about once or twice a day just as often they eat snacks or brush their teeth. Another thing about dishonesty, as stated in this article is that, in a relationship one or both partners had lied about their previous relationships. Dating couples lie to each other more than they lie to other people.

"Deception is rampant—and sometimes we tell the biggest lies to those we love most," says Allison.

I highly agree to what the author stated. Just like in relationships, we lie because we just want our partners to have a positive image of us and because we want to maintain the facade in our relationship. 

Now, let's talk about those sweet little lies in the article "LIES: The Termites Of Relationships - Why Do We Lie And How Can We Stop?" Little lies a.k.a fake positive lies. Well, those sweet little lies help us to get along with the other people. We say these lies every time we pretend that we like someone or something more than we really do. A survey of residents in Los Angeles revealed that some Korean Americans and 90% of Americans of European or African felt that the truth must be told to patients who are terminally ill.

"You save your really big lies for the person that you're closest to," says DePaulo.

The purpose is to avoid conflicts and to maintain order in our lives. It also helps us to avoid insults and disagreements with other people. Some people try to be straight forward to the point that they tell us an ugly truth, right? Well, some of us react angrily or violently. If you're one of them, you are just training other people to lie to you because you do not recognize that it takes a lot of courage to tell the ugly truth and be true.